JUDGING a morbidly OBESE person!!!!
Jan 24, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ7Of1HYMec

and in one year one year you guys one
year I gained 120 pounds coach and told
that old fellow you said you were proud
of me evening flash afternoon / I don't
know what today has been a rough day
with my my infection you guys I had so
many plans of things I needed to do
today and clearly not one got done not
one I did not get to any of my vinyl
orders so sorry it has just been yeah
it's been rough I woke up again today
with a really bad a headache which is
just crazy I just don't understand it
I'm not getting why this headache I
don't know if this headache is coming
from the heart I'm taking my meds really
quick before I forget don't need to do
that and I need my antibiotic uh
anyways I don't know if it's partly from
the antibiotic that's causing me the the
headache I'm not a hundred percent but
um I just I don't know I've woken up for
two days straight now with a really bad
headache and just filling blah which of
course we I would be filling that with
having two infections in my body and
then
all day I have had the worst tummy ache
like just I haven't wanted to eat
anything I haven't wanted to drink
anything which I've still been forcing
myself I know I have to I mean I have
just been downing I haven't even been
drinking on my water bottle just so I
can make sure that I am keeping
measurements of how much I'm drinking so
I've drank like five of these and these
are 32 ounces
I've drinkin five of drank five of these
today so far this is might well this is
my fifth one just to keep flushing my
kidneys because of course that's gonna
be the biggest thing to get this
infection out but yeah so I feel like
I'm on the mins I feel like tomorrow's
gonna be a better day I have so much I
have to have to have to get done I
apologize to anybody and everybody that
I have not gotten back to on your guys's
comments I am trying to keep up with
them the best I can if if I haven't seen
a comment and you really need to get
like a message to me make sure just to
throw an email towards my direction my
email is listed in the description box
it's Amy 1981 ramadan @ gmail.com i want
to say an official welcome to all of my
new subscribers i am loving it I am
loving seeing so many new faces and new
names and new support and new
encouragement and new ideas and it's
just been nice has really been nice to
see my channel growing um so that's a
good thing what-o home be Ajanta um
there was something else I was gonna say
oh I was gonna tell you guys so I was
looking last night well it was this
morning actually um I was looking I
think it was on Facebook and I found out
that here in Salem I want to say they
said it's gonna be a
[Music]
they're opening up a huge indoor park so
I'm really excited because I think
that'll be a great place and they're
gonna they're gonna serve food and
things like that which I'm not like I I
don't really care about the food part so
much but if there's food I kind of feel
like it will be kind of like a family
place and so I'm really excited though
because it will be a great place to take
the kids and let them have some you know
just run around and you know and when
it's winter time it will be nice because
we have that indoor park and we don't
have anything like that here in Salem
like they've taken everything out I feel
like I feel like they've they took those
skating skating ring away we have ice
skating rink that they open in the park
from like I want to say it's from like
November to the end of January
they have like a skating rink whoa now I
am NOT gonna put my happy butt down on
some ice because if I go down we all
gonna go down but I mean they don't have
anything family-oriented here other than
okay so chuck-e-cheese um they have like
the Gilbert house which is like a
scientific children's but really it's
not like I mean I haven't been there in
years but when I went when I was younger
it really wasn't like fun it was all
right you know but it was the size of a
house so you're stuffing like 30 40 50
children in a house how is there much
fun you know and it just it really sucks
that you know I would think that Salem
would have more to do for families means
that it's the capital of Oregon I would
think that there would be more things to
do here mm-hmm
everything's like a like Portland way
and that sucks because I mean it's not
like oh okay let's just jump in the car
go to Portland for the day I mean I get
but in reality how many people truly do
not us I mean we do go to Portland but
and I mean they do have another place
that's called John's incredible pizza
but again its food and you
have to that's the thing that kind of
stinks because if I didn't have to buy
food when I go and just let the kids go
and like buy them food or whatever I'd
be totally game for going it cuz this
place is really nice it has a huge
buffet and I mean when I did eat that
type of food the food was good I mean
I'm not gonna knock it but I mean and
they have like these huge like oh my
gosh um like huge park rides like not
not outside park rides like this huge
will insert a picture I think I've got a
couple I think I do
now that I lost all my pictures you know
I said I was gonna post a couple
pictures the other day and I couldn't
cuz when I went to go and look for my
pictures I forgot they were all gone but
anyways the hard thing about them is you
have to in order to be entered into the
restaurant you have to pay for a buffet
well I'm not gonna go and pay $11 for a
salad like I'm not gonna do it I just
can't I mm-hmm that's $11 I was just
wasted for me and I mean sure yeah I
mean I guess I could kind of justify it
because I could just say well put you
know divide that $11 into my three kids
but then you've got Ollie nollie won't
eat if I don't eat because he never will
eat unless I eat he is so funny
so that's $22 that's just being thrown
down the drain plus we have to pay 700 I
think it's either seven or eight dollars
per kid for the buffet plus you got to
pay for the ticket so I mean it's an
expensive outing if you're not gonna
participate in all of the activities so
for me I just like mmm cuz I'm not
willing to eat the food like I'm just no
mm-hmm I'm not gonna put myself in that
position so Oh
problems problems problems um but
anyways so I don't know I'm I'm excited
to see this part and see how it's gonna
turn out I just hope that
is well taken care of and it doesn't
become really gross and disgusting
because again that kind of seems like
that's the thing that happens here is
they'll open something it will be so new
and so nice and then within a few short
months people thrashed it trashed it and
it's just it's sad it's sad because we
have nothing here for our kids to do but
then nobody wants to take care of things
either around here so I guess you get a
win-win or you get a lose win I mean I
don't know
anyways so tomorrow I have lots of
messages to get back to emails to get
back to what ills oh I have some orders
I have to get done today
like I have to get done I mean not today
tomorrow and then I also am gonna go
wash the shopping tomorrow like I have
to go grocery shopping tomorrow
and just get some odds and ends we got a
few things from well but I'm trying to
find things that I can make for Jeremiah
that's different than just pure
processed foods because I'm just sick
and tired of him eating processed foods
all the time so I showed him a couple of
pictures today earlier of like
drumsticks and different things and I
was like would you eat this type of
chicken you know because sometimes he's
finicky about stuff like that like he'll
he's just really different so I showed
him pictures and he's like yeah I'll eat
that type of chicken on my car you sure
and he's like yeah so I think I'm gonna
buy a big bag of chicken legs and you
know and that way then I can make that
with I just don't know what kind of like
vegetables to introduce to him because
he is not a vegetable eater like he mmm
nope I tried one time I'll never forget
it this is probably about two years ago
I tried the whole well you're gonna sit
there until you you're gonna sit there
until you at least take a bite you guys
he sat there for like two hours and he
was nowhere inside of taking a bite of
that vegetable and so then it was like
okay pick your battle Amy are you gonna
sit there and force him to eat something
that is absolutely just against his beam
or
you know just accept that he's clearly
not down for eating this vegetable and
let it go so I decided to just let it go
Oh cuz I couldn't imagine letting him
sit there any longer and try and make
him eat it but I really did try and like
encourage it nope nope they won't do it
I've tried me I've tried making
different types of like smoothies with
vegetables in it no he can smell it out
I don't know I don't know what that
child I don't know so I went ahead and I
made like a list of some things and so
I'm trying to see what else I can make
for him that is not processed food all
the time but food that he can sit at the
table and eat with us because I know
there's nights like last night we had
what was it eggplant and it's got like a
potato with it and then it's got like a
red sauce it's really good
but he would not come near that I know
he wouldn't he had done no no no you
look at me like I've lost myself so I'm
like trying to scrounge around and
figure out what I can make him and I
eventually I made him some taquitos and
french fries but I was just like you
know I want him to sit at the table with
us and eat I want him you know but the
hard thing is is that Omar Nesterov le
the food that we make like they ate the
eggplant they ate all of that so I don't
allow Maya to eat until after Omar
Nisour are done because I want them to
eat the food if they see what Maya's
eating they won't touch that food
they'll waiting for my his food to get
done and then they'll try and still is
so I'm not I don't want that you know
because I really am trying to change the
way that the kids eat in the house and
so you know if I'm making chicken legs
well then either the kid the awareness
or can eat chicken legs or they could
eat what we're eating but at least it's
still nutritious and so that's what I'm
kind of trying to do is figure out
things that I can add to a list that he
would be able to eat with us and not
take away from what el martes would
normally eat because they see Big
Brother eating something fun and they're
like no he's gonna eat that corn dog and
we is going to eat those tater tots
because that looks much better than what
you guys are in beam which is vegetables
and meat so yep I have that on the
agenda I've been working on a little
list and I think that's it not really
much of anything I was going through
some of my um messages a little bit ago
and I was reading them and it kind of
triggered me into a thought that I was
like you know I think this is something
that you know I should discuss and it's
you know and I and I've seen this
comment multiple times through different
people so I'm not like directing it to
anyone
certain personally please don't get that
because I see it on other people's
channels as well so it's not just like
my channel that I'm that I'm seeing this
about it's just a comment that is very
popular with weight loss channels in
general and has been said to me multiple
times along with me seen on other
people's channels um but the comment
pretty much you know it's it's not the
exact same but it pretty much does the
same the same common denominator of what
they're trying to put across that tough
love is always the best love and you
know reading sometimes the comments
about like you know for instance before
I started my journey I couldn't count
and I could not even tell you how many
times that I woke up in the more well
know before I even would wake up the
night before tomorrow honey is gonna be
a new day I'm not gonna eat that type of
stuff I'm gonna eat only this stuff I'm
gonna do this I've got to get this
weight off I want to live a healthy life
I don't want to be this way anymore I
want to have a healthy relationship with
food
I
have a good life I want to be able to
move and do things and by morning time
before oli would even come out of the
room I will have already sabotaged my
entire morning I'll go and look for
cookies and it's not like it's I wake up
in the morning like oh I want cookies
I I'm you know no I'm gonna go get
cookies it's not that it's I get hungry
and so I go and I look for them I go and
look for the most easiest thing to grab
which most of the time would be the
cookies or the chocolate muffins from
Costco or you know whatever it might be
the the pizza and the frigerator just
needs to be heated up and you know ate
from leftovers so by the time Ollie
would come out
I haven't already sabotaged my morning
with a whole new cycle of my old eating
habits because it's I don't want to see
it's a habit because it's it's not a
habit you know I think people sometimes
don't realize because they're not the
size that I mean talking in general
about myself who wants to be 498 pounds
who wants to not be able to walk from
their chair to the bathroom without
being out of breath who wants to have to
go to the store and before they can even
get in the store either send their
significant other and to look and see if
there's a cart a motor cart or go look
around the store at all both entrances
to see if there's a cart and if there's
not then you get stuck in the car
because you know you cannot make it
through the store without a cart a motor
cart who wants to go in a situation like
myself where you know last summer this
was just last summer you guys it was
August no June I want to say it was June
we went
to the zoo as a family and most zoos if
not I don't know but all my zoo does
they have motor carts that you can rent
and we got to the the zoo and it was for
some reason that day it was just so
crowded but it didn't even enter my mind
nothing you know I just I knew we'd get
in there we'd get a motorcar and I would
enjoy my day because I you know I knew I
could keep up with the family and not be
in pain so I can enjoy the experience
rather than having to worry about you
know the pain in my back and my legs and
my feet and everywhere else well we got
in there and all he went into the gift
shop where you have to make the purchase
for the rental and he comes out
empty-handed he's like there's no rental
carts I'm like what and that very moment
so many emotions hit me fear because I
was like oh my god what am I gonna do
like this park is huge there's no way
I'm gonna be able to make this rage
anger like no other and you know I was
so sad was that my anger was directed
towards Olli like it was his fault
even though it wasn't his fault Sian's
fault that I'm 498 pounds and I can't
walk through the park but I blamed him
because of course you never want to take
that blame for yourself because you
already feel bad enough you feel bad
that you know your families have to now
suffer the ending result of what you've
done to yourself they're paying the
consequences your children are paying
the consequences so now you have made
this beautiful experience with your
family into this most negative nasty
experience ever because you are
basically throwing a tantrum because you
know physically your body is not
equipped to to do those things but do
you think that a person that's 98 pounds
enjoys to go through that do you think a
person that's 90 and 498 pounds 498
pounds enjoys not being able to shower
themselves
or use the restroom and clean themselves
properly or take care of their children
like they should or drive in a vehicle
the way that they should
there's so many I mean you can make a
list of all the things that an morbidly
obese person cannot do and make a list
of what a normal sized person of the age
and height would be able to do and of
course we're gonna be off the spectrum
completely for what we can't do but my
question is is do you think that we
enjoy that of course not
absolutely not I could not tell you that
there would be one person that is out of
size in their body where they has taken
away the ability of enjoying experiences
in life and enjoying experiences with
loved ones and children and themselves I
don't think there's one person that
would give you the answer that they
enjoy it but do you think that we're the
size that we are because we want to be
the size of course not to be the size
that I am or that I think anybody of
body weight is there's underlying issues
as to why that's there do you think when
we go to bed at night and we talk
ourselves to sleep about how good we're
gonna do the following day and we're
gonna you know we're gonna make it count
and you know we're gonna do all these
good things and we're gonna make this
list and we're just gonna hit it out of
the park and you know we're just gonna
wake up skinny and you know you wake up
and you're still fat and you wake up and
you still can't do the things that you
want to do and you wake up and you feel
like you know you've just you haven't
moved one inch from the thought of
wanting to change do you think that we
enjoy waking up to that that feeling
every morning of course not
so do you think that you telling us as
big people that it's our fault that
we're failures that were liars that we
don't have our crap together that we've
done this to ourselves do you think that
that is gonna help us do you think that
showing those kind of support words
would really help us to obtain the
ability to reach the the point in our
life where we can actually meet the
goals that we place before ourselves
before we lay ourselves down to bed no
your words of support mean nothing to us
but cause more hurt more damage more
wounding and wanting us to stuff more to
cover that pain that you just added do
you think somebody like me that has a
binging disorder do you think that I
enjoy sitting and binging and binging
and binging to the point that it hurts
to move to breathe to think to fill do
you think that I enjoy that you know I
know that there's you know people that
cut to to fill to fill alive that is our
coping mechanism to fill alive is it
healthy of course not
is it healthy that they've cut their
arms their legs their feet their hands
to feel alive of course not but I'm sure
that that person that is cutting isn't
just doing it because they enjoy it do
you think that those people that are
cutting are doing it to fit in course
not there's under lane pain
damage hurt suffer they're looking for a
way to express their pain and that's how
they express it and as a mortally obese
person that's how I choose to express it
is through binging that's my self-harm
I don't self-harm by cutting myself
harmed by binging is that an excuse for
why I would sit and eat a carton of ice
cream no it's not an excuse but it's my
coping mechanism that's what I've been
taught that's what I have been told
where where where did I get told that
through television watching others
reading it experiencing it
where did you learn to bully where did
you get your PhD to tell me that I have
a problem where did you get your your
insight to be able to dictate the change
how where's your license do I need a
license to be a binge eater do they need
an a license to cut now it's part of
being a human
there's not one ever human that's the
same we all deal with things in our own
lives the way that we know how to do it
I can guarantee you there is not one
more bubbly obese and the reason I use
that word it's cuz that's what I am
there's not one I can guarantee you that
has been diagnosed with binge eating
that has not dealt with pain abuse or
any other thing that they walked in life
from there's a reason that binging is
there and it's a coping mechanism it's
not because we turn to it just because
we're bored because we have nothing else
better to do because we just want to do
it no no it's not that
it's something in the brain when you go
into a binge it's not a you don't even
think about it it just happens it just
happens it's not something you plan you
can't plan a binge you can plan a day
worth of maybe not eating healthy maybe
you cannot plan a binge at the time that
you're gonna do it it just happens and
then after you're done binging guess
what happens
we beat ourselves up we abuse ourselves
we hurt ourselves your brain goes on
overload because then you're telling
yourself all these bad things what what
is wrong with you why can't you stop why
didn't you stop do you enjoy the way
that you feel now look at you you're
such a failure you're such a loser
you're a liar to yourself in to
everybody else watching you there's so
many thoughts that go through your brain
and you just can't seem to catch grip
and the reason why again that I've been
bringing this up is because I've seen
this on so many channels in my own my
own channel I've gotten this message
multiple times why can't you just stop a
me what what is what is it driving you
that you just can't stop it comes a
point in life where you have to make a
decision but you can't make that
decision until you decide that you want
to make the decision first to be
aggressive with the inner deep pain
before you can take care of anything
else your eating disorder cannot be
taken care of until you go further in
and deep in heal from the bottom up just
like in a wound does a wound heal from
the top and go in mm-hmm
if you cut yourself it Hills in layers
and finally by the time it's completely
healed it's got a scab on it and then
the scab falls off and then you've got
skin that's gonna have to grow over and
it's you know got to smooth out and you
know you got a tan it up and there's so
much but it takes so much different
steps to healing something and that's
the same thing with with healing your
heart your emotions your body it's so
many steps and taking one step at a time
is the only way that we're gonna be able
to do it but having people have patience
and supporting you and encouraging you
and pushing you along but in a positive
way that's how you heal somebody and
help them heal themselves is by all
those positives but when you bring
negative that's just feeding
the negative feelings that are already
there and you're just making that wound
deeper and deeper and deeper for us to
continue to have to heal more when you
next time you go to place a comment on
somebody it doesn't matter who it is and
it's a you know it couldn't be it
doesn't even have to be a weight loss
channel it could be you know something
else but I'm just directing it towards
weight loss channels because that's what
I you know that's not what I am but
that's currently what I'm doing right
now you know I'm just saying it about my
own thing because you know I mean my
channels not just a directed about
weight loss yes that is what I'm I'm
working on right now is getting my
weight down but also I've been in very
very very deep trauma therapy and health
nutrition therapy for over a year is
taking me a really a strong year to
finally start connecting the dots and
realizing that it had to start from far
in before it could come all the way out
and now I you know I I'm learning the
tools that when I want to binge the
things that I can do instead of binging
what I can turn to where I can go what I
can you know preoccupy myself with no
fast diets gonna help
no foul story it's gonna help and we all
know that I think sometimes we have
false hopes that it's gonna happen just
like you know when I would wake up and
do my I'm or go to bed and I do my whole
you know preach to Olly that you know
tomorrow is gonna be a new day we're
gonna do good we're not gonna you know
I'm not gonna eat you know I'm healthy
and you know I've got this and you know
two days in I'm feeling really good I
get on this scale and my scale hasn't
moved what happens the numbers read
which I'm still dealing with that
because you guys know that I just went
through that the other day because the
scale went up and I was so frustrated
with myself but I didn't allow that to
throw me into a binge I didn't allow
that to
forced me into a you know throw my hands
up in the air and be like f it I don't
want to do it no more you know type of a
thing but before that's exactly what I
would have done I would have been like
okay so after two days of me not eating
bad and you know eating salad and you
know not eating bread and not doing this
and not doing that and all these things
and the skill doesn't dare move I'll
forget it and I go back to Benji and I
go right in the kitchen and just well
sometimes you most 99% of time I wait
for Olly to leave for work or whatever
and then I'll go in there and I'll find
something that I bought and I was a bag
of Oreo cookies and I will sit and eat
every Oreo cookie until the point where
I could barely open my mouth because I'm
feeling so sick from all those Oreo
cookies but I will still find room to
shove the last cookie in there and then
I'll sit for hours afterwards beating
myself up why did you do it
what was the point in those two days
look what you just did you failed me as
in my body you failed me you're a loser
you're never gonna make it right you're
always gonna fail out on diets you're
never gonna be a good mom you're never
gonna be a good wife because you can't
follow through with anything I mean it
just it's a repetitious nasty cycle but
if you can be the light of support in
somebody's journey be that be very very
very very very cautious when writing a
comment on anybody's post that are
trying to lose weight because 99% of
those people are already dealing with so
many demons inside they don't need
extras added you guys you mean ones out
there put yourselves on another live
level put yourself on our side of the
road for a day think about what we go
through think about the pain that we're
tugging with us it's not something that
we enjoy I promise you that
we just want love and support and
encouragement and 99% if you do it will
succeed I've succeeded because of you
guys
because of my channel you guys my
support system has been outstanding
amazing and I know till I know till I
know between my therapy my husband my
children and you guys that's why I have
succeeded that is why I have lost 72
pounds and I've got many more to go do I
have days where I wake up and I I just
wish I can live a normal life and go eat
a doughnut for breakfast and be able to
control myself with one doughnut and not
sit there and eat three four or five
doughnuts yeah
do I wish that some days I could have
dinner and then have a piece of cake
a normal sized piece of cake
and be satisfied with that and go to bed
and not think about that cake and wait
until my whole family goes to bed and go
stand in the kitchen with a fork and eat
the cake out of the pan
because I don't even want to get a plate
because I'm just shoving it in as fast
as I can what I love to live a normal
life yeah will I know I have a bad
relationship with food food is my coping
mechanism and it always will be
but I have learned to change the way
that I think about that so I don't use
food as a coping mechanism now however
if I let my guard down and I don't pay
attention to my surroundings it is very
easy to pick those tools back up and
start using them the same way as I did
before
and I could take myself back to square
one very quickly
I am the type of person that can gain
weight at the fastest rate as wind I
mean I'm not kidding you like I am one
of those type of people that can
literally gain well two years ago I lost
80 pounds I got down to 380 pounds that
was the least that that was the smallest
I had been since oh gosh before I was 20
and in one year one year you guys one
year I gained 120 pounds yeah so when
people say oh my gosh this year I look I
gained 20 pounds I look at them like oh
boy but that's not right for me to even
have that thought that's not my place my
place is to focus on me and only me
unless I want to show support then
that's different but if you don't want
to show support just think about the
extra added pain that you're adding to
the person that's already dealing with
it and they really just want that
message to get out there because I think
as a morbidly obese person myself it
hurts
turi comments like that because you
won't ever understand unless you walk
the shoes that we walk unless you
literally are in our inner beam you will
never understand that demons that we
would deal with every single day when we
wake up the voices that go through our
head the things that we tell ourselves
you will never understand the abuse we
already give ourselves we don't need
extra added to us I guarantee you we do
our own good job of it all we need is
love and support from people and I bet
you we could probably be more we would
be better off to reach our goals if we
had more support and encouragement in
kind words than trying to be tough love
and call us
lies and everything else cuz I guarantee
you we're not none of us are lying
I can guarantee you every night when we
all go to bed as morbidly obese people
our goals our wholehearted true we want
those changes every single day we don't
want to wake up in the size of body that
we are but you know what the reality is
we do the reality is when we look in the
mirror we see the same person we went to
bed as I still see myself as a 498 pound
wondermint woman people say oh my gosh
you mean I see the difference is so much
I don't I don't see them I might see it
in my clothes but I still see myself as
the biggest person ever still stand in
the mirror and tell myself the same
things I told myself six months ago
you're fat you're nasty you're ugly I
don't need to be told by other people
the same things I already tell myself
and neither does anybody else I promise
you we all want to change but sometimes
that change is harder than most people
know it's just like trying to take
someone off of cocaine crack or anything
else you can't just take them away from
their drug and expect them to become
clean and sober that same day guarantee
you we're the same way we're addicts and
the sad thing is is our drug we have to
have so we have to learn how to have a
relationship with our addit our choice
of drug we have to have a different type
of relationship at least with coke
cocaine crack meth whatever you don't
have to live with that you don't have to
take that every day to survive we have
to eat every day to survive so putting a
plate of food in front of us when we
drive down the street we see our drug in
our face everywhere if you drove down
the street and you are an alcoholic
seeing bars left and right in every
direction and bright colors and you know
beer commercials that are so bright and
colorful and just looks so good do you
think that you would be as easily sober
as somebody with a food addiction of
course not of course not am i saying
it's easy to be you know a sober
alcoholic or you know a sober drug
addict absolutely not I had a I had
parents that were addicts I understand I
see the struggle for my mother I
understand it but same with a food
addict it's the same way please treat us
the same way please treat us the same
way guarantee you we all want to change
but we all have to change when we're
ready to change and we all have to start
changing from the bottom up
give us time give us a chance it doesn't
happen overnight it will never happen
overnight give us a chance I promise you
if you give us a chance and you really
just let us do our thing we can show you
that we're already at some point but
we're not gonna be ready just because
you say we're ready you have to be ready
when you're ready anyways that is my
choice of talk today I hope you guys
enjoyed and I will check in with you
guys tomorrow bright and shiny in the
morning I hope this message reaches the
ones that need to hear it
and for all of the ones that are on a
weight loss journey you guys are all
amazing every one of you guys don't let
the negative comments bring you down
don't let it feed your inner beam that
is already hurting build that wall
around yourself and just let it bounce
off love yourself accept yourself for
right where you're at don't bring
yourself down further just because
people say it
let that be a step up that's the biggest
thing let that be a step up and always
know that I'm here for you guys I'm a
work in progress I'm nothing more
special than you guys I'm doing this
work just like you all I have my days I
just like I had my days that I succeed
we all are in this together there's not
one better than the other I'm here if
you guys ever need an ear to hear vent
scream cry whatever and I hope I have
the same with you guys I'll talk to you
tomorrow